the "product" we refer to is well equipped in the service abilities of your common woman. thought n our opinion (and many others) we have manufactured her to be far superior to that of any "common" woman. there are of course risks to be taken, though we rarely receive complaints from our clientele.
(that unreadable fine print)

defective product has been known to wreak havoc upon small villages and town folk.

(make that sweet green philosophical love)

just sign here, initial here, then sing here, here, and here.

(your signature waives responsibility from jones inc. we apologize for any inconvenience)
twelve months later...
[client:] she's falling apart and she's killed my dog.
[sales representative:] (silence)
[client:] you know that she once swam in beauty?
[sales representative:] that's true.
[client:] well, where did it go?